No matter what they’re charging to get in, it’s worth more to get out.

I had a colonoscopy once, and they let me watch it on TV. It was more entertaining than The Brown Bunny.

Mad Dog Time is the first movie I have seen that does not improve on the sight of a blank screen viewed for the same length of time.

This is an ideal first movie for infants, who can enjoy the bright colors on the screen and wave their tiny hands to the music.

[The title character] makes a living prostituting himself. How much he charges I'm not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie.

You see it, you leave the theater, and then it evaporates, leaving just a slight residue, something like a vaguely unpleasant taste in the memory.

Going to see Godzilla at the Palais of the Cannes Film Festival is like attending a satanic ritual in St. Peter's Basilica. It's a rebuke to the faith that the building represents. Cannes touchingly adheres to a belief that film can be intelligent, moving and grand. Godzilla is a big, ugly, ungainly device to give teenagers the impression they are seeing a movie.

— some bits of Roger Ebert’s film reviews