They started the night off by sending their minion Christina Aguilera out to take a large steaming dump on the National Anthem. It was to be a symbolic gesture, and an amazing visual spectacle. Rather than actually sing the song, Aguilera chose to instead physically conjure the souls of every person who had died during the American Revolution and shit directly in each and every one of their mouths.
“That is exactly what happened,” said one shocked onlooker. “I saw it with my own eyes. Then she gargled with the blood of our founding fathers and traveled back in time just to kick George Washington in the balls. It was really unnecessary. Why couldn’t she just sing the song properly with some sort of semblance of decency and respect?”
-- The Too Far Blog, The Black Eyed Peas Murder and Sodomize the Corpse of Music Once and For All, Feb 2011 on the Super Bowl show