When I woke up this morning, things were lookin' bad /
Seem like total silence was the only friend I had /
Bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down... and won. /
And it was twelve o'clock before I realized /
That I was havin' ... no fun /
But fortunately I have the key to escape reality /
And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile /
It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while /
Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone /
No I'm just tryin' to have me some fun
-- John Prine, Illegal Smile